Saturday, December 22, 2012

Never say never

Ever said never?  I did.  I will NEVER move to the south.  I will NEVER have my husband travel for work.  I will NEVER be able to be a single mom.  I will NEVER....well, I see a pattern, don't you?  I have learned in the past 10 years of my life to NEVER UNDERESTIMATE GOD.  He really does see the big picture.  Why, this tiny being that I am, do I feel the need to control everything and set such defined limitations to my life?  Guess that is being the sinful human that I am.  Well, newsflash for me.  God had a different plan.  He said, you WILL move to the south and I will enrich your life.  You WILL endure months (maybe years) with your husband traveling overseas for work and it will bless you.  And You WILL be able to be a single mom, because I will carry you through it.  Whew.
Okay, so, here we go again, trip number 3.  And guess what.  We are alive!  This doesn't take away the fact that the kids and I miss Dave terribly.  Heck, I can't even watch a sappy romance movie without crying for my husband.  The kids see me boot up the laptop and they both race to the screen anticipating dads handsome face to pop up and greet them.  And it is very hard for them to not have their dad here.  Just as it is hard for dad to not get to hold his babies.  But, the point is, Gods grace is getting us there.
It is tough to be apart for long periods of time.  I try not to worry about him over there and stay busy here.  Keeping the kids is a very fast pace and tiring lifestyle.  I am thankful for my friends and family who have pitched in to help along the way.  It is always nice to get a break, and even get to pick up groceries by myself!
Perhaps the hardest part of this trip so far was the fact that just after dave left all three of us caught Influenza.  I have never been so sick in my life, and I am sure the kids felt the same way.  I found myself in panic because my husband was not here to make everything okay.  I was on my own.  But, when I thought I couldn't do it anymore, God provided help.  Wonderful people from our church and friends around where here to help with the kids, meals, anything.  I am so grateful to each of them for their time and love.  (And hoping we didn't get everyone sick!)
Each time dave heads to Afghanistan I pray that we will grow stronger and deeper in love and that our situation will not work against us.  So far I have found that we all grow stronger in different ways.  I know for myself God is helping me to be a better mother and wife, through each trying moment.  (Even though I am sure he gets tired of hearing me grumble!)
We are almost one month down.  As we get ready to celebrate christmas in a couple of days.  I just want to tell those in my life that they are a blessing to me.  To my husband, I am proud of you.  And to my savior, thank you for never saying never.

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